So when Subway came out with the five dollar foot long, it quickly shot up to my second favorite place to eat. I mean, it’s cheap, it’s delicious, and it’s even potentially healthy. And when they came out with the “any two sandwiches for ten dollars dinner deal”, which included the PHILLY CHEESE STEAK (woo-hoo), I swear I cried tears of joy. By now, I’m sure everyone has heard the five-dollar-foot-long jingle, and everyone probably already knows which sandwiches are on the five dollar menu like the back of their hand, but I bet a lot of people didn’t know this: if you don’t get your sandwich toasted, it doesn’t get taxed. A friend of mine called me up the other day to tell me about this exciting news so I could post it up, but of course I already knew about it. (C’mon now, they don’t call me the master of cheap for nothing.) But yeah, your sandwich won’t get taxed if you don’t get it toasted just like your food purchases won’t get taxed at the grocery market. There are, however, a few exceptions. Sandwiches that contain chicken will always get taxed because they have to cook the meat. Also, the philly cheese steak will always get taxed because honestly, if you’re not going to toast that bad boy, then don’t even eat it. I’m not exactly sure, but I think a general rule of thumb for the state of California is, if it needs to be cooked, then it’s going to get taxed. So, it’s kind of up to you on whether or not you want to spend an extra 44 cents for toasty bread and melted cheese. Usually if I have extra change then I always get it toasted, but if I don’t, I sometimes just eat it cold. Also subway is one of those places that have the automated change machines that always give you the FUCKING DIMES. It’s a good idea to pass on the toasting if you want to avoid losing change.

And since were on this topic, if you ever get ice cream at an ice cream store, ALWAYS get it “to go”. For some reason, ice cream will get taxed if you order it “for here.” I’m really not sure why that is. It probably has something to do with food being ordered for immediate consumption verses food being ordered as groceries. I’m just basing this off the logic since all food you order at restaurant is going to be taxed and all food you buy at the grocery store isn’t. I really have no idea how it works, but what I’m telling you is true. You should make it a habit to order everything to go. Even if you plan on eating it in the store, just order it to go and eat it there. That will increase your chances on your food not being taxed.

Also you get a free bag.

(Just kidding)

Note: If you don’t understand the picture, then you probably never played Mortal Kombat.