Keep the Change, Chump

So a while ago, I watched this report on the news that did a study on using cash vs. using credit/debit cards. They took a family, froze all their cards and forced them to use cash instead. At the end of the month, the family ended up spending dramatically less money on their expenses than they usually did. The reason behind this phenomenon is that since they are now actually physically seeing how much money they are spending, they naturally try to spend less.
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Save Some Money, Fatty pt 2

If you haven’t read Save Some Money, Fatty, you can read it here. Today I’ll be addressing the second reason of why you’re fat… You don’t exercise enough. You need to get into a gym. But first, you need a gym membership. Today I’ll be teaching you how to do the gym pass shuffle. It is the most efficient way to get into a gym without paying for costly membership fees.

Most large gym chains will offer a free trial for potential members. For example, 24 Hour Fitness offers a free seven day pass to all non-members.

Here’s the link
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Save Some Money, Fatty

Want to lose weight?

With the holidays here, I’m pretty sure a lot of people will be adding “get into shape” onto their new year’s resolutions lists. Have you tried strict diets in the past that haven’t worked? Well here is a simple solution to weight loss:

There are only two reasons why you’re fat.

1. You eat too much

2. You don’t exercise enough

Now, I’m not a personal trainer, so I’m just going to be focusing on reason number 1… You eat too much. Why do you eat so much? I don’t know, but apparently being fat is not enough of a reason for you to stop eating so much. So let’s just focus on saving money. Assuming you eat out for lunch every weekday, at six to seven dollars per meal, you’re probably eating at least a hundred and fifty dollars a month in lunch alone. If you throw in dinner, weekends, and the occasional more expensive meal into the mix, you’re probably spending at least three to four hundred dollars per month on eating out alone.

So the obvious answer everyone thinks of is to bring lunch from home. And yes, that is the correct answer. But, most people don’t know how to cook or don’t have enough time to cook every day. And honestly, if you don’t cook often, you probably are missing a lot of necessary ingredients and cooking at home may result in you actually spending more money.

Here’s a simple solution. Eat a sandwich. It takes about 25 seconds to make a sandwich and if you do it correctly, you can buy about a week’s worth of sandwich supplies for about fifteen bucks. I ate the same sandwich, breakfast, lunch and dinner, for two weeks. I lost eight pounds. The main focus of eating sandwiches is to save money; the weight loss is just an added bonus. The new game becomes “How many days in a row do you think you can eat the same sandwich without going nuts?” It kind of depends on whether you can repeatedly eat the same thing over and over but it becomes a bit fun after a while. It is almost like a personal achievement in which you later get to brag to people about how many days in a row you ate the same sandwich. (As I just did to you)

So to my fatties out there who are trying to lose some weight and save some cash. Go out there and see how many days in a row YOU can eat the same sandwich for.

Make Your Cheap Date Cheaper

This post goes out to my fellas out there trying to holler at the ladies. I’ve definitely been there and I understand that going out on dates take a lot of work and more importantly, money. And even I, someone who deems himself as hella cheap, will suggest that the guy should probably pay for the first date. Dates are expensive for two obvious reasons. One, you’re probably going to be eating somewhere nicer than where you usually eat. And two, you’re going to have to pay for two people. It’s probably safe to say you’re going to be spending at least four or five times what you usually spend on a meal. Now here’s my advice… always eat before the date.
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IMG_0189I have never met anyone that didn’t like eating at Chipotle. Probably because it’s so damn delicious. I eat Chipotle at least once a week. I mean, who could pass up a filling and delicious meal for only $6.40 after tax? Not me. On occasion, I like to treat myself and order some chips with my burrito. Chipotle charges $1 for chips but $1.65 for chips and salsa. The thing is, when you buy a burrito you can get salsa on the side for free. This creates some ambiguity. You want to buy a burrito with salsa on the side AND chips, NOT a burrito AND chips and salsa. How do you ensure this? Ask for the salsa AFTER the cashier rings you up.

So this is how it will go. When you are paying for your burrito, they will probably ask you if you want anything else. Then you say “Yeah can I just have some chips.”  And after they swipe your card, you bust in with “Oh yeah, can I get some salsa on the side?” BAM, no way they’re going to charge you for salsa now. But what if they ask you if you want salsa with the chips before you pay? It would be weird if you say no to the salsa and then immediately change your mind after you pay. That’s when you pull the “come back in a second” move (The name may need some work). Basically, just pass on the salsa for now, stock up on some utensils and napkins (I’ll teach you how later), and then come back in about 30 seconds to ask for it. They’re not going to remember. You can also easily avoid this problem if you’re eating with a friend; have them ask for the salsa with their burrito while you buy the chips.

So, there we have it, get your salsa for free, and save yourself sixty five big ones. (pennies)