Make your Cheaper Date CheaperER

Here’s another one that goes out to my fellas out there who are trying to get some while staying on a budget. Say you meet a girl you like, you play the game for a bit, you sum up some courage, and you ask her out on a first date. She says yes!! Congratulations, friend.

So… whatch’ya guys gonna do?

Dinner and a movie?

Fantastic idea!

Not.

What’s the deal with dinner and a movie? Somebody please tell me why “dinner and movie” became the standard first date plan. I mean, I can understand the dinner part… but the movie part leaves me a bit dumbfounded.

Here’s why I don’t approve of watching a movie on the first date. First of all, movie tickets are retardedly expensive nowadays. Regular non-matinee tickets are at LEAST $11.50 now. And don’t even get me started on the extra $3 for 3D.  Plus you have to buy two tickets, so that’s like twenty three to twenty nine bucks. You already paid for dinner, now you have to dish out an addition twenty three to twenty nine bucks to keep the date going? RIDICULOUS!

Here’s the worst part: I can almost guarantee the movie you guys are going to watch on your first date is not going to be a movie you want to watch. It’s going to be a movie SHE wants to watch. And what’s even worse is that YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO SUGGEST IT. So basically you’re going to be spending approximately twenty three to twenty nine dollars to sit through a shitty two hour movie you didn’t even want to see in the first place. Why would you do that to yourself?

And I lied, that was not the worst part. Here is the worst part: During the two hours of the movie, you won’t be able to talk to or make any sort of connection with her. The best case scenario is that you will get to uncomfortably keep your arm around her for two hours. And that’s the BEST case scenario. The more likely scenario is you will spend the whole movie trying to figure out the best way to get your arm around her without making it obvious and then just end up settling with touching her arm with yours on the shared arm rest. For twenty nine bucks I’ll keep my arm to myself, thank you very much.

So what should you do instead? I don’t know. I only give cheap tips, not dating tips.  You’re probably better off asking your sister for advice but I guess I’ll give it a shot. Try taking her for a walk around a lake. It’s free and it gives you a good chance to talk. It also gives you a great opportunity to pretend to be a gentleman and let her wear your jacket. Going for a walk is always a good idea. Even if you live in the city and there are no lakes around, just take her for a walk anywhere. It will still give you a good chance to connect plus you might even be able to show off how manly you are by protecting her from potential muggers. And if all else fails, spend that twenty nine bucks on alcohol. At least this way you’re actually getting something out of it too. Plus it will most likely slightly increase your chances on getting some (not that you need the extra help though right buddy?). Either way, it’s a much better R.O.I. if you ask me.