Instagram

In my recent post, I briefly talked about how I do not have an Instagram. To be honest, I felt a little left out so I decided I would get an account of my own. Below are ten pictures that I think will accurately give you a glimpse into how awesome my life really is.

1.

gas
#gas #expensive #gasisexpensive #gas$ #thanksObama #77.37 #BP

Even though everyone is pretty much paying the same price for gas, it was very necessary for me to complain about gas prices by taking a picture of what I just paid for gas and uploading it to the internet.

2.

food#freelunch #companylunch #companyperks #yummy #ilovemyjob #ihopeyouknowilovemyjob

I took a picture of this mediocre food because I just want everyone to know that I work for an awesome company that buys its employees lunch every once in a while. Just want to be sure that everyone knows about the perks I am receiving at my company. Also, I am really happy at my company, which by the way, provides a lot of perks.

3.

hawaii#MBM #TuBTu #WBW #TBT #FBF #SBS #SBS

This picture was from over six months ago, but I want to post it again because I think it makes me look like I’m in good shape. Fortunately, I can do this without seeming like an attention whore and it will be socially acceptable for some reason, as long as I use one of the popular hashtags. Also conveniently, there are enough of these hashtags to let me post it on almost any day of the week.

4.

vegas#Vegas #SOEXCITED #LV #Iloveflying #flyingissofun #neverdrivingagain #lasvegas #airplanesarecool #wrightbrothers

I want all my acquaintances to know that I can afford to fly to Vegas now that I am 4 years out of college. Taking a screenshot of my flight info and posting it online seemed like the best way to do it. Don’t worry if you forget about my trip because I’ll be reminding you in a couple of weeks when I post a picture of the airplane’s wing from the window seat.

5.

beatrice#womancrushwednesday #wcw #love #cutecouple #somuchlove

So… who’s this cutie? Oh right, it’s my girlfriend. I just wanted to publicly post this picture of her with some hashtag that some seventh grader made up or else nobody will know how incredibly in love we are. Please just look at how sweet I am for making everyone look at my girlfriend.

6.

2014-07-21 07.39.21#Squats #Squatz #asstograss #forthegains #crossfit #cross #fit #legs #legday #neverskiplegday #squattobottom

I want to make sure that everyone is aware of the fact that I work out. Also, please notice how I am squatting to bottom in this picture, because it’s very important that everyone knows that I squat to bottom. I was kind of deciding between uploading this picture of me squatting to bottom or a video of me washing the dishes since they’re both pretty regular activities people do, but I wanted to be sure people know that I squat to bottom.

7.

alcohol#morningdrinking #itsonly7AM #alcohol #jameyandgingerale #bicardiliketoparty #wokeuplikethis #sorrynotsorry

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was drink. The second thing I did this morning was take this picture so everyone would know. Also, I’m 26 years old and still think alcohol is cool.

8.

lacma#LACMA #museum #sophisticated #art #ilikeart #monet #picasso #lightpost #artmuseum

This seemed like a very popular place to take pictures. I have no idea why but everyone else was doing it so I did too. The problem is I really wanted you to focus on my face so I couldn’t get much of the background.

9.

icecream#icecream #ice #cream #iscream #ilikeicecreammorethanyou #thisplaceissogood #thisplaceisbetterthanthatplace #besticecreamever

I ate ice cream and really want your recognition for it. I also really wanted you to look at a picture of my face again in case you forgot what I looked like since seeing the last picture of my face.

10.

dog#dog #cat #doggy #puppy #kitty #dogs #whitedogs #smallwhitedogs #smallwhitedogsinapicture #puppysarecute #likeforpuppys #dogsofinstagram

Check out this picture of me with this dog! Actually, I really just want you to focus on me but I already have too many pictures with just myself in it so I included this dog so people wouldn’t think I was an attention whore. It took me about 15 tries to get the dog to kind of look at the camera. After I finished, the dog ran away because she was mad that I held her in an uncomfortable position for so long for absolutely no reason.

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