Happy Birthday Beatrice


Alright, I’ll admit it.

I’m a hater. Or more correctly put, I think a lot of things are stupid. And worse, I find a strange enjoyment in pointing out why things are stupid to people who actually like those things. Don’t get me wrong though; I’m not admitting to this because I feel bad about it. I’m just acknowledging that it’s probably really annoying to talk to me about something that you like and that I think is stupid. And with my views on how diamond engagement rings are a scam, how Valentine’s Day is a tragedy, and how taking couple selfies is as embarrassing as taking real selfies, it’s probably really hard to date me. And yet, somehow my girlfriend manages to do it every day.

Today is Beatrice’s birthday.

Happy birthday, you beautiful girl. I know your one request for your birthday was for me to write you a card, but I figured I could probably do you one better. Instead, I want to publicly tell you why you are the greatest, and why I am the luckiest person in the world.


You are, by far, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although this may sound somewhat generic, this sentence could not be truer. I spent more time than I’d like to admit, deleting and re-writing the beginning of this paragraph. This is partly due to the fact that I am stepping wildly outside my comfort zone by writing a public ‘love letter’, but mostly it’s because I don’t know if I will be able to accurately describe in words, the way I feel about you. Beatrice, you really are the best thing that has ever and will ever happen to me, so please let me try to tell you the reasons why.

You are such an incredibly warm and caring person. You never have problems with meeting different people or making new friends because you always have a genuine interest in people. You take an interest in other people’s problems as if they were your own and always listen with an open heart. This really shows in the amount of and the quality of friends you have. I’ve had the privilege to get to know your close friends better over time and I know they will always be there for you. You put a lot of effort into your friendships and it really shows. You have such a big heart. You’re always anonymously donating to strangers in need and always talking about your big future dreams in helping people. You make such a big positive impact on all those around you.

Receiving your masters from USC just a few months ago, you’re still at the starting line of your new career but I can already see so much ambition and motivation in you. You will be tremendously successful in whatever you do, not just because you are smart and have next to perfect memory, but also because you are truly compassionate. I am so happy you found a profession that allows you to share your warmth with others on regular basis. I am even happier for your future patients because they will get the privilege of spending time with a sweetheart like yourself. I saw how hard you studied as a student and how hard you worked as an intern. You worked extra hours almost every night for three months straight just to ensure you would be a little bit better. The combination of your strong work ethic and your genuine altruism will allow you to reach incredible heights.

With your ability to connect with anyone on a deeper level, it’s not surprising that you’re also very funny and always entertaining to be around. Even when I spend all of my time with you, I never feel like there is a dull moment. All the time we waste together doing nothing, watching Netflix, eating ice cream, playing videogames is what I cherish most. Whenever I think back about all the phrases you made up and repeatedly said until we somehow incorporated them in everyday speak and all the voices you give to inanimate objects, I can’t help but to smile. While I probably don’t admit it as often as I should, there is never a day that goes by where you don’t make me laugh.

Oops, did I forget to mention what a cutie you are? Damn girl, you hot as hell. I’m going to go ahead and not go into too much detail here but just had to mention it.

It seems like everything I want to say about how you make me feel has already been said before in a movie or song or something. Maybe these feelings aren’t unique to just the two of us, but it’s the first time anyone has ever made me feel this way. It’s like every day I wake up, remember that you exist, remember that you’re my girlfriend, and then get really happy about it. I probably say your name aloud at least thirty times a day. I think about you so much that I’ve developed a habit where I would just blurt out “Beatrice” when I’m alone. TV shows and movies started to make more sense to me after I met you too. I don’t think I ever understood any romantic scene I ever watched in my entire life until very recently. And that is because now I am actually able to put myself into the shoes of the love-stricken male protagonist. I can now, for the first time, actually understand the feelings and emotions the actor is trying to portray.

If my friend told me he was going to quit his job, move to a different city, and move in with his girlfriend of only a year, I’d tell him he’s insane. How is he going to move in with a girl that he’s only dated for a year? What’s the rush? While it seems like a horrible idea for my hypothetical friend, for some reason when we decided to make the move, it didn’t seem the least bit weird. In fact, the transition felt so right that I didn’t even realize what a big step it was until someone literally told me to my face that it was crazy. And this was a whole month after you already moved in. Everything feels so right with you because I have absolutely no doubt that you are the one for me. And my unquestionable certainty about you is the reason why I am the luckiest person in the world. Because of you, I pretty much have a guarantee that I will always be happy. How crazy is that? I don’t know if many people are able to say the same. You make me feel like I’ve already succeeded in a large portion of my life. Just knowing that you are always there for me is the best feeling in the world.

So in conclusion, you are the best and I want to wish you a very happy birthday. I know I never really said some of these things to you before. Sorry I’m never really romantic but hopefully this makes up for it a little. I just want you to understand how much I love you. I also promise that I’ll stop telling people that we got together because of Tinder and that I didn’t know you weren’t a fob for the first six years I’ve known you.

Also, some of your friends wanted to say hello as well:

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