What happened after I lent a homeless guy twenty bucks

This is not Floyd, but he is a Floyd.
This is not Floyd, but he is a Floyd.

Before I start this story, I just want to preface it with the fact that it doesn’t have a super exciting ending. It’s not one of those internet stories where I give a homeless dude a hundred dollar bill while recording with a hidden camera, and in turn, he immediately rips it in half and generously shares it with some other dude who’s aggressively more homeless than him and then the internet buys them a house and they become roommates for life.

 

It actually has a really unexciting ending. So to save you time, I drew a graph of how the story progresses in terms of excitement.

graph

Continue reading What happened after I lent a homeless guy twenty bucks

6 Years From Never Working Again

This is not Kelly, but she is a Kelly. Also, I wanted you to click this link.
This is not Kelly, but she is a Kelly. Also, I wanted you to click this link.

The earliest memory I have of Kelly is from when I was still in elementary school. Since I was best friends with her little brother, I once stayed at their house for a week when my parents were out of town. She woke up at 6 AM to deliver newspapers before she went off to high school to save up money to buy a prom dress. I remember this because her brother and I went with her one of those days to help and at the first house I delivered to, the newspaper somehow unraveled itself and flew everywhere when I dropped it on their neighbor’s doorstep. I quickly ran away and have felt bad about it ever since.

Fast forward to sometime last year; we were having a mini reunion at my parents’ house with some other families. Eventually it somehow became a Q and A session where the parents took turns asking Kelly questions about how she hustled to get her first job. In college, she took the bus for four hours every weekend to New York City so she could meet with people who worked in finance, whom she had cold called earlier in the week. Through this, she landed an internship and over seven years, worked her way up to Vice President at JP Morgan.
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‘Bands’wagon

Oh hey there.

I know. I failed to post for the last couple of months and I legitimately feel kind of bad about it. To be honest, I was really hoping that my next post would be an announcement of the launch of a new site I’ve been working on, but my developer recently got a girlfriend and stopped working on it and started working on her (oh!). So… yea… I guess I’ll just let you know when and if that comes out.

Anyways, a couple of months ago this article went viral. It’s an article about advice handed down from a Hong Kong billionaire telling you how to save your money. On the day it went viral, it was sent to me at least five times before I even ate lunch and I also saw it posted all over Facebook. Overall, I think that the message of the article was good, even though his method of budgeting didn’t seem super practical or realistic. What was funny to me though, was how everyone was jumping on this dude’s dick about how important it was to save money and how they were all of a sudden so inspired.
Continue reading ‘Bands’wagon

It’s Not What You Think

I somewhat regularly get asked “Does what you write in your blog make you worry about your personal brand?” I think this is a pretty good question and I’ve thought about this quite a bit in the past. The short answer is no. No, it doesn’t. The longer answer would probably also be no, but I’m not sure if that was always the case.

I wrote my first post in 2010 about how to save sixty five cents at Chipotle. I was 22, just graduated college and was selling insurance full time for far less than minimum wage. At that time, I still embarrassingly received $1,000 a month from my parents, $600 of which went to rent. As you can imagine, I had very little spending money. The main reason I wrote that first post though was because I thought it would be funny. It should be pretty safe to assume that I didn’t care enough about sixty five cents to put that much effort into writing about it, but because of my financial situation, the fear of other people thinking that I did had crossed my mind. Continue reading It’s Not What You Think

Psycle

By now, you probably already know that I have a lot of theories. None of them are at all scientific, but I still think that they’re pretty true. Here are a few that I can think off the top of my head: It’s very rare for guys and girls to be real platonic friends. People who hashtag IDGAF actually, in fact, do give a fuck. And white guys can’t tell the difference between good looking Asian girls and ugly Asian girls. And trust me; I can back any of these up for hours minutes on end.

Anyways, I recently came up with a new theory. Continue reading Psycle

Tight vs Tool

In September, I had a chance to visit some buddies over on the East Coast for a few days. On a particular weeknight, since they had work the next day, I ended up going out with a bunch of people who I had randomly just met that night. We went to some tiny club that I thought was actually pretty decently packed for a Wednesday.

After maybe an hour of doing what I do best, which is… you know, pretty much getting rejected by every girl I hit on, I decided that it was time to booze up. I go to the bar, where I see one of the people I came with. She tells me about how their other friend is super trashed already and she is getting some water for him. The bar is pretty packed and she looked like she was close to next in line so I asked her if she was only going to be getting water. She told me she was, so I asked her to order a beer for me as well and I gave her my credit card to pay for the beer.

When she gave me back my card and receipt, I saw that she also charged like an $11 bottle of water. I thought this was weird for a number of reasons, such as 1. Why didn’t she just get a cup of water for free? 2. Why does bottled water cost $11 or 3. Why didn’t she make any mention of it?

I shrugged it off because I was aware as to how much more dudes in New York, in comparison to me, love paying for girls so the etiquette there may have been slightly different.

I did, however, tell this story to a few different people over the next couple days and pretty much only got one out of two reactions. According to them, I was either…

1. A tool bag, for giving my credit card to a complete stranger. or…

2. A tightwad, for tripping about buying a drink for a girl.

What’s interesting is that these criticisms are exact opposites. It seems as though there is a very thin line between being a stingy-ass and a douchey tool. It just depended on who was giving the feedback.

I have wondered about this before in the past. I will admit that I sometimes find myself spending more money than I probably should so people won’t think I am stingy or poor. Hell, I’ll admit that even while I am writing this post I find myself secretly hoping that people would agree more with criticism #1 over criticism #2. So, I guess the question is… Who draws this thin line that separates the two?

The answer is… you do. Well, I guess everybody does. It’s a purely subjective opinion and everybody has one. And everybody judges each other based on their own opinion. And while we live in a society where spending money is an attractive trait, where you can rent-to-own a big screen T.V. in 24 monthly payments, where gaudy jewelry and “making it rain” is idolized by teenagers, where prepaid cards exist because adults don’t have the self control to balance a checkbook, I say… fuck what everyone else thinks. I acknowledge this is easier said than done.

Everybody values money differently and it doesn’t matter how they value it. Just make sure you understand your value of money and understand it well. Then, similar to last month’s post, act accordingly and never falter due to social pressures.

Defense

I had the most interesting conversation a couple of weeks ago with this guy named David. In excruciating detail, David was telling me about where he chose to have dinner on a recent trip he took in Texas. Since he was in Texas, he wanted to eat a nice steak, but didn’t want to spend too much money on it. He described it to me as somewhere cheaper than Houston’s but better than Outback. He knew the exact dollar amount he wanted to spend ($30) and found a restaurant suitable to his needs. On his drive there, he passed by a Waffle House and on a whim, decided to eat there instead. David excitedly told me about his greasy but delicious dinner at the Waffle House and how little it cost him. The price of his dinner was only $8 plus a $3 tip, or “the cost of just one side at the steak house” David described.
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How Much Are You Worth?

I recently ran into a couple of guys who I haven’t seen for a while. They were now fresh college grads and desperate for jobs. They almost immediately pummeled my friends and me with questions. “Where do you work now? What do you do? How much do you make? How did you get hired?” I could sense their urgency and it reminded me of myself not too long ago. They asked for advice on how to find a job, but the only advice I could give was pretty generic. Now that I think about it, I should have told them something that, in my opinion, was even more valuable. I should have told them “No matter what, don’t let your financial worth affect your self-worth.”

Sounds pretty intuitive right? Funny thing is, I learned it the hard way.
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The Millionaire Next Door

The last time I was in Vegas, someone in my group won $5000. I wasn’t there when it happened and don’t know the exact details, but I think he got a royal flush at some table game and received a 500 to 1 payout.  Anyways, how he won isn’t important. What is important though, is what he did afterwards.

He continued playing at the $10 limit, won another $400 or so, came back to the room… and went to sleep.
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Mother Knows Best

My mom always repeated two things to me about money ever since I was a kid.

1. Never buy things you can’t afford.

and

2. Always pay off your credit card every month.

Like a good little boy, I listened obediently and ever since I got a credit card, I never missed a payment…

up until recently.

Oops, I got a bit unorganized and was hit with a $14 interest charge.
Continue reading Mother Knows Best