I Am Hella Cheap

More theories

I think we can all agree that a key to having a successful blog is to consistently update with new content. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly easy to come up with relatable, financial advice on a regular basis. I know, even despite the fact that at least once every two weeks someone suggests some obscure fact for me to write about. “Hey I just saved like $3.25 parking over here instead of over there in this very specific situation. You should blog about that.” “Hey, I found a quarter on the ground on my way over here. You should blog about that.” I actually really wish I wrote down all of these useless nice suggestions I’ve gotten over the past few years so I actually could “blog about that.”

Lately, I’ve noticed it’s been more and more common where I find myself saying the words “I’m not actually that cheap” to someone who I just met through a mutual friend. I mean it feels like a necessary safety precursor because getting introduced as “Hey this is Albert. He is hella cheap.” isn’t always the best first impression. “Uhh… I know he just told you that I have a website that says the exact opposite, but it would make more sense if you knew me and…”

Anyways, when I’m not talking about how to save your money on here, I’m usually spreading some theory that I made up, which is actually an excellent segue to what’s coming next.

I don’t exactly own an Instagram account, but I can hashtag as hard as the rest of you. I have recently learned about how girls will post a picture of themselves, but instead of a regular picture it will be the same picture twice or three times. See here for examples (from the internet):

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Triple girl

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6 Years From Never Working Again

This is not Kelly, but she is a Kelly. Also, I wanted you to click this link.

This is not Kelly, but she is a Kelly. Also, I wanted you to click this link.

The earliest memory I have of Kelly is from when I was still in elementary school. Since I was best friends with her little brother, I once stayed at their house for a week when my parents were out of town. She woke up at 6 AM to deliver newspapers before she went off to high school to save up money to buy a prom dress. I remember this because her brother and I went with her one of those days to help and at the first house I delivered to, the newspaper somehow unraveled itself and flew everywhere when I dropped it on their neighbor’s doorstep. I quickly ran away and have felt bad about it ever since.

Fast forward to sometime last year; we were having a mini reunion at my parents’ house with some other families. Eventually it somehow became a Q and A session where the parents took turns asking Kelly questions about how she hustled to get her first job. In college, she took the bus for four hours every weekend to New York City so she could meet with people who worked in finance, whom she had cold called earlier in the week. Through this, she landed an internship and over seven years, worked her way up to Vice President at JP Morgan.
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Target Prepaid REDCard

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Oh my god, Becky…

You ever hear that story of that guy who bought dollar coins online from the government with his credit card? He just kept repeating the cycle of buying dollar coins, cashing them in at his bank, using that money to pay off his credit card bill, and earning hundreds of thousands of free points.

I’ve always been jealous of that guy. Anyways, today I discovered something almost as equally as good, even though it came out a year ago. It is called the Target Prepaid REDcard aka “RedBird”. Don’t get this card confused with the Target Credit or Target Debit cards.

Basically it’s a prepaid Target card that gives you 5% off everything at Target and free online shipping from Target.com. But that’s not all… it allows you to load it by charging your credit card AND allows you to withdraw money from it directly to your bank account… FOR FREE!!

So yea… you can basically just get a ton of free credit card points this way. It’s also a really easy way to hit any spending requirements you might have.
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Get 100,000 Southwest points and a Companion Pass!

The Southwest Credit Cards are back! This is exciting because they make it super easy for you to get a Southwest companion pass.

Actual screenshot from when I qualified back in 2013

Actual screenshot from when I qualified back in 2013

What is a Southwest companion pass and why is it awesome?

A companion pass allows you to bring someone along with you for free any time you fly on a Southwest flight.

How do you qualify for a companion pass?

You must take 100 one way flights or obtain 110,000 points within one calendar year.

How long does the companion pass last for?

It lasts for the remainder of the calendar year in which you received it, and the entire following calendar year.

Can you change your companion?

Yes, you can change it up to three times a year.
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2015: Your Year of Austerity

When-You-Refuse-to-Check-Your-Bank-AccountDamn, is it February already? That can pretty much only mean one thing. You’ve already given up on your new year’s resolutions didn’t you? I know I did. My resolution was to update this blog more, but as you can see, that hasn’t really been happening. Anyways, more likely than not, one of your resolutions this year was probably to become more financially responsible and save more money. If that’s the case, I think I can be of some help.
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Save On Your Six Pack

beer1This is my third week in SF. And considering I’ve lived in the ‘burbs my entire life, I think I am transitioning to city life fairly well. I even gave someone directions last week like I knew what I was talking about. Also, yesterday I witnessed a hobo breaking into a van that didn’t have its windows closed all the way. After one of the weirder conversations I’ve ever had, we agreed that he would put everything back if I gave him $2. I’m pretty sure he just went back and took everything again after I left but I’ve never had anyone ask me if I wanted to blow him that many times in a row before and I really didn’t want to find out what would happen if I pushed it.
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Move/Trip

italian teabagHey what’s up? Long time no see. I’ve been making a couple somewhat big life changes over the last few months. First of all, I finally moved to SF. I spent a lot of time talking about it but we finally made the move. We wanted to move here for new experiences and I was really bored of living in the suburbs of Orange County. One of my top priorities for moving here is to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. I’m going to do my best to reach out to people I haven’t talked to for a while but also please don’t be shy and hit me up too. I am very excited. Also I would like to add, trying to move during Santa-con was a horrible, horrible idea. Read the rest of this entry »

THOT

thotDo you know what “thot” means?

I do. I learned it a couple months ago while I was in a group chat with some friends. Immediately after learning what it stood for, I had some problems with the word. Apparently “thot” is an acronym for “That Ho Over There”. While doing some ‘thot’ research, I read a bunch of articles on the internet about how this new word is derogatory to women. My problem with it, however, is that it literally stands for “that ho over there” and people are using it like a freaking noun.

“That girl is a thot.”

What?
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Happy Birthday Beatrice

SAMSUNG CSCAlright, I’ll admit it.

I’m a hater. Or more correctly put, I think a lot of things are stupid. And worse, I find a strange enjoyment in pointing out why things are stupid to people who actually like those things. Don’t get me wrong though; I’m not admitting to this because I feel bad about it. I’m just acknowledging that it’s probably really annoying to talk to me about something that you like and that I think is stupid. And with my views on how diamond engagement rings are a scam, how Valentine’s Day is a tragedy, and how taking couple selfies is as embarrassing as taking real selfies, it’s probably really hard to date me. And yet, somehow my girlfriend manages to do it every day.

Today is Beatrice’s birthday.

Happy birthday, you beautiful girl. I know your one request for your birthday was for me to write you a card, but I figured I could probably do you one better. Instead, I want to publicly tell you why you are the greatest, and why I am the luckiest person in the world. Read the rest of this entry »

Level

levelmoneySo, I think I was somewhat sexually harassed last weekend. I was peeing at a urinal at the airport when some old dude goes to the urinal next to me and starts chatting me up. I answered his questions about my flight and stuff and when I go to zip up, I look over at him and he’s straight up stone cold staring at my penis. He also had some weird smile going on. I’m pretty sure that was the first time some random guy went out of his way to stare at my private parts and the whole experience actually wasn’t too bad. It was kind of flattering even. I don’t know why girls complain about it so much. (jk)
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